Well it is the evening of day 2…

the things I have in my PalmPilot for notes is…

We should & could ourselves to death

“Hiper than thou“

inoculation to reality

What does this tell us about ministry…How can we be ministers when we think that everything is works righteousness?

We need to get over our Lutheranness on this. We are saved by grace through faith, apart from anything we have done. Ok, we can do nothing to obtain our salvation. We all know this, we all live this, and we need to accept it and move on. We need to get beyond thinking that we should not do works, because being captivated by the love of God compels us to do things. We just need to understand that the things we do can gain us nothing, except some one might see the love of God, and allow God to work on their lives, yet this is all God’s work. We do things because the love of God compels us to, not because of what we get.

We do not need to worry about being hip, we need to worry about being real, being authentic. Ministry is contextual and relational. Be in relationship with everyone you come in contact with. And in order to do this, you have to know yourself, so you can help the other person know if your congregation is a fit for them. if not then we need to send them some where where they can get into a relationship with God. It is not about the numbers in our congregation or even in the ELCA, or any denomination. It is always about the kingdom, it is always about God. If we can not see where Jesus is, then we need to rethink things, or revision things. Being hip is not what we need to worry about is being real.

We also need to not allow our religion to be an inoculation to reality. We need to embrace our context and the society around us, without being sucked into the society. In and not of, we are citizens of heaven, bought with the blood of Christ, beyond what we have done, yet called to be in the world, and a part of the mission of God. We need to not see our claiming by God as an inoculation to the reality around us, yet claim our acceptance as the call to be the body of Christ and do the mission of God.

What does it mean to do ministry in this postmodern era???

What does it mean to be a pastor in this era???

Is it better to have a conference with carnies, or the casket company?
Does it say more about us that we are here with Circus workers or a casket company? Does it show the decline of the church that we should be measured for our caskets and look at the style of lining we want for the box in which we will place our church, because we can not get beyond the traditionalist attitudes and understanding of the way we do ministry…

My question to all of this is where is God? Is it not God’s mission? The question brought to us this morning at the Creative Ministry Pre gathering Pastor Jeff Linman was Where does the power come from? Are we doing things in our ministry because of what we have finances to? Are we adding on to our building the amount of space we can afford to add,or are we looking at how God is moving in the area and doing what needs to be done because God is our undergirding and our power? Can we allow God to be God and follow him in His mission and risk, knowing he will not leave us alone?

Can we trust God to dream God Sized Dreams? Can we allow ourselves to dream the dreams and seek the ministry that needs God? In order to do this we need to think and vision beyond ourselves and know that God will see us through and do His part if we will only let him? Are we able to find Jesus in the darkness, in the black of night, when we think that we are all alone and the plan we thought was what God wanted us to do, is really not what we needed to do… Can we hold on to the vision and look to the dawn, trusting that God has not let us down?

We need to live on the fringe of losing control ourselves, yet always knowing that God is in Control. If we do not do this, then our ministry will truly be that of maintenance. Our ministry will be that which maintains the status quo, and does not build the kingdom. We will be keeping the “members” happy and not building the kingdom. Our visions will not be kingdom visions, they will be that which keeps the doors of “St. Careaboutmyself” Lutheran Church open. We need to move beyond being plate spinners. We need to move beyond being the people who run around the congregation making sure none of the plates hit the ground, that they always keep spinning. This is maintenance. We need to be kingdom visioners, kingdom dreamers…

We need to grab a old of Paul’s words to the Philippians in chapter 4:11-13
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Remember the focus is on Jesus, and that will take you far, even with a carnie in a hot tub!

Here we are in Orlando….

Day one down.

And I need to reflect on extraordinary audacity… And what does it mean to be real radical renditionists for God.

We need to grab hold of that which is real. That which will ground us. That which will help us wade in the waters. That which will make the unsafe jump into the water safe.

My life is going a lot of different ways right now. With the new girl coming next week, with the looming first call, with the denial of designation of Mission Developer. These things tear at my soul and make me question what I am doing. It makes me wonder if this is really where I want or need to be. Where does God want me? Will this conference feed me and help me discern that which God has for me?

This conference is all about God. it is all about making it real. It is about be a renditionist for God. It is about being radical. It is definitely about being radical. With an extraordinary audacity we need to radically proclaim the love of God. We need to do this radically, because of what radical is. Radical is that which is so much different from the norm, something which pushes the limits of our understanding to breaking, to the point at which it is so beyond the norm it is something other. We also need to be radical because of where the word radical comes from. Radical comes from the Latin radix, which is root.

We need to be that which takes us back to the root! Let’s audaciously step to the radical nature of God. Let’s take us back to the root, back to that which nourishes us, to that which sustains us, to that which gives us everything we need,to that which grounds us. The root is that which fixes us to the One who will keep us safe when we jump into the depths off the diving board. The root is the On who will keep us safe in everything we think we can never be safe in.

Radically be extraordinarily audacious.

Alright it is 5:20 AM and I am getting ready to leave for the airport for Orlando for theCreative Ministries gathering of the ELCA…

My wife is due in 8 days, I am a liitle bit on edge, and wondering why I am doing this…

Let us see where this journey takes us!

Well isn’t life grand. We are in a place that is good, the house finally sold, and we are ready to welcome the third child into the world, and the van… Have mentioned the van to any of you. The longed after vehicle that will allow the five of us to go place as a family… Well we bought our van on December 22nd. And on January 15, before the first payment was made, we hit something, like a small sign. I roughed up the paint on the rear bumber and knocked the bumber loose… Probably not anything major, yet it is the first accident, the first dent the first ding…

We always joke about getting it doen early. So it is out of the way. Yet it does not make it any easier. And now we wonder if we should have it checked out or not… Life happens. We need to live and enjoy and know that the things we have are for us to use and are not the end all be all of our existance.

The van is no longer the “perfect” van we bought. It is still a wonderful vehicle to use and help us be a family, together.

Aren’t relationships grand!!!

They have their own beings and breath and live a life all there own. We get the great pleasure of taking part in them. Sometimes they are pluses to our lives and sometimes they drain us of everything we have. They are joys to us and they truly sometimes are pains in the _____!

But as bad as these relationships are think how it would be if no one was around. If you were the only person on earth… Might sound great when those relationships are sucking you dry, but how about when you needed to talk to someone about life, or love. Who would you love?

We are made to be in relationships, for the good and for the bad. We were never promised a rose garden, or a stink weed garden for that matter.

Relationships are the fuel for our days and times here, soak in the beauty of the wonderfulness of those around you who love you, and do not let the drain of bad times get you down, as the son will come again.

As I ponder the realativities of life and love and completion of assignment papers, I wonder if I have presented myself correctly. I wonder if I really know what I am getting myself inot with wanting to do mission development? Am I crazy, or truly gifted? Do I really want to put myself and my family out there on the line and risk everything for the sake of the call? Can I really do this thing anyhow? I mean really in the whole grand scheme of things who am I?
As I prepare for the first call process and await the coming of what the Holy Spirit has for me and my family, I am confident that the Spirit will move through the process and bring me to the place I need to be. Yet in my humanness I am struck by the fact that I am so insecure in my own abilities that I am having a hard time letting go and completely trusting in the process. I mean really who am I to think I am being called to mission development? Who am I to think that I can go out and start a congregation from the ground up? There are so many things I do not know, and do not have the gifts for…
My pastor told me tonight that I should listen to my wife, and follow her lead in this process, as she probably understands my gifts and sees how I have grown and trusts that I am able to do this. I want to cling to that which I have known, and not venture out to where I am the one to use the gifts and talents given by God to do that to which God has called me.
It is easy to say we trust in God. It is easy to say that Jesus Christ died for you and you are saved by Grace through Faith becaise of Christ’s faithfulness to go to the cross. It is quite another thing to accept that same grace for yourself, and to fully trust that God has brought you to this place and will give you the neccessary tools to see you through to the other side. God will not let us down, but sometimes it is hard to truly make this our own. It is easy to say it to others, and to believe it for them, but quite another to bring it to heart in your own life, and to accept that you are accepted and forgiven, and gifted by God to go and to do.
Why do I second guess myself so much? Why do I look for the affirmation that I am where I need to be, when I can look at my children and see the love that God has for me? When I can see the support that my wife gives me, even when she is left with all the house work for days on end, as I try to keep up with class work? Why can I not see the signs all around me of the wonderfulness of God that shines on me everyday and keep questioning my call, and keep second guessing where I need to be, or if I presented myself correctly?
So many things happen because they happen, and it is not because we did nto do our best, ir give it our best, or wrote the right thing in the paper work, but it happened because it happened…

Sometimes I wonder what leads me to do the things that I do. I wonder how we can without thinking be so inhuman, so threatening, so out of control. I wonder if thinking realy changes this? I wonder how our being claimed by God as the children of the Kingdom, co-inheritors with Jesus Christ, and still do the stupid things that we do. Yes we as Lutherans believe we are simutaniouly Sinner and Saint. So we can be claimed and named by God and yet still be sinners, still do stupid things to our brothers and sisters. I struggle with this though. I struggle with my own sinfulness, my own humanness. I struggle with this in trying to understand how I can be called to be a leader of the church if I am so sinful. I struggle with how God could us me.
I know that God uses all of us, even those who may not believe in God. I can not put God in a box and say he can not have effect on anything or anyone. Or that we all are effected through others by God. I am this day struggling with how I can be a called leader and live in my sinfulness.
I struggle with this know that I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength. Yet I wonder where that strength is at when I act out in my sinfulness. Where is the strenght to live in the glory of God when I lash out in my sinfulness? God never leaves me, so how can I possibly lash out in sinful nature and still be with God? How do I live in this dichotomy, and continue to be able to be a leader in this church?
We are all leaders in the church, we are all gifted, we are all children of the same heavenly father. I am struggling this day with my place in this kingdom, I am stuglling with how his love can still be with me, through the lashing and sinful things I have done.

Open mouth insert foot….

Have you ever done something to someone that is just wrong? And then thought about what you did and felt really bad for it? Well that just happened to me. The family was over at some friends house having dinner, and we started talking about Easter candy. So I asked my fellow class mate what he was doing on Easter, because I was thinking of going to North Carolina on Easter to have the new offspring baptized, and Krista said that is something new, that is not what you said before, and I got all upset and started yelling. Everyone was saying fight fight, and I just kept going. I do not know what came over me, but I just let it fly. And I felt bad right after that. I knew I over reacted, but I did not know where Krista got that from.
Well I told her I was sorry, but I do not know if it did any good. I asked when I had said that we should not baptize on Easter and she said back in North Carolina. I am sure she is right, she usually is, but I for the life of me do not remember saying this, or ever believing this. Easter is the one time to have the children of God baptized, when Christ is resurrected, what a better way to be accepted as a co inheritor with Christ!
So now she is still mad, and she is right to be. I should have asked her first off when I said that and talked about it rather than jumping to conclusions. What is that: Hind sight is 20/20….
Why can’t we do things right the first time? At least there is grace, and I can hope that it will abound from my wife, who is usually always right about my ridiculous life.

I am wondering why it takes a natural disaster for us to rally and do something about the needy in the country, let alone the world. Sure as a church and a country we rallied when the tsunami hit and we sent aid and help to those in need, and now we are faced with about the same thing in our own country, but why does it take people being pushed out of their homes and living in sewage to get us to care about other lives?

Does their need all of a sudden over whelm our needs? Does the fact they do not have a home impact me more than the $500 I had to put out to fix a rental truck? This was money I could have easily spent on something else, but because of an accident I have to fix this truck. It was not a natural disaster, but why should I be moved to do something for those in New Orleans becasue they have lost their homes, and I have lost this money? It should not take a natural disaster to make us care about the rest of human life. It is our ethical responce to care for all life. We have a will to live, and as christians, this should push us to a reverence of all life.

I know we will rally and help those in needs, but we need to do this even in the best of times and bear each others burdens. Wherever 2 or 3 are gathered in the name of Jesus, he is present, and we need to love like Jesus loves.