This morning I looked on Facebook as usual, but I found this below statement from Jay Gamelin. Jay often posts things that hit me and are there at the right time for me… Thank you Jay and I wanted to share.
Dear God, my dad always said, “Faith is the ants in the pants of your doubt.” I know what he means. Occasionally I flirt with thinking you are a figment of my imagination. I ponder all these things I do and how much more ludicrous it may be if you did not exist. I think about how so much of you is irrational and, well, just weird. I think about all the interesting arguments against your existence, attacks on your character, etc.
But something, just something always draws me back from the edge. I don’t think I am afraid of you not existing. That’s not it. Or thinking that without you I would have no purpose. Certainly so many have a purpose that have no clue who you are. It is something else, something less tangible. Ants in my pants, God, that no matter how far down the rabbit hole I go, the creeping doubt in my doubt, you seem to tickle me back to reality and away from making my own reality. Like a loving parent, you gently call me away and steer me back.
That’s it. You have me. I’m yours, your kid. I can say I don’t have a dad, just doesn’t make it so. What I know about you doesn’t matter really all that much. Your existence does not depend on my faithfulness, you just are. Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief. Love, me
aSacredRebel 