What does it mean to be nice?

We were taught as children, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Is this really the way we are suppose to be a Christians though?

Nice is a word that we have come to understand means to be kind, polite, non confrontational. However is this really what nice means? When I look up nice at Merriam Webster’s online resource the first definition is obsolete – wanton, dissolute, coy, reticent.  Not kind or polite, which are definition number 7 on Merriam Webster.  The word nice actually comes from the Latin word nescience which means lack of knowledge or awareness – ignorance.  To be nice is to over look what someone is doing to you that is wrong.  It is as if someone is hitting you and you tell them thank you for being such a wonderful caring person.  You completely over look what they are doing in order to be polite and kind.

This is not what we as Christians are called to do or to be.  Jesus never told us to overlook what is happening around us.  He never told us to include everyone because it is the nice thing to do.  Jesus cleared the temple of the money changers to give the Gentiles a place to worship!  He told people they needed to go and sin no more.  He gave us in Matthew 18:15-20 a way to handle conflict because he knew that the church would not always agree.  But he knew we need to be held together in unity.  He also told us in Matthew 18:8-9 that it is better to cut part of the body out/off to cure the body.  Sometimes we have to say the hard thing and go to our brothers and sisters and tell them they are sinning against us and are not part of the community, for the restoration of the community.  If they do not respond, then we have to treat them as one we pray for and hope for.  But anyone that is causing conflict in a community mus be handled in a manner worthy of the Gospel.  Jesus said to go and tell them what they have done, if they don’t listen, go back with 1 or 2 more, and then take them before the church, and then remove them.  Being a Christian does not mean we are nice. It means we love people for who they are and where they are, but do not let them tear apart the body…

Here is a wonderful article by William Easum entitled On Not Being Nice, “For The Sake of The Gospel”  

May we all know His love, and stop being nice, and live like Christ.