I have been pondering life a lot lately.
I wonder why things happen the way they do, and why events are taking place in my life. I have 3 wonderful children, and I sometimes wonder why I have been blessed with them. I feel like I am the worst parent on the faces of the earth. I feel like all I ever do is yell at them, and I think how much better my life would be with out them. I know this is not true, as I sit here and watch my 5 year old sleep on the loveseat as my 7 year old watches the Olympics, I savor every moment I get with them. They truly are the reason I do the things I do. So then why do I act to them like they can do nothing right? Why is it we treat the ones we love so badly? Even those of us who profess to be in love with God treat our loved ones like they do not deserve. I wonder why it is I do this, I try to change, and for a while it works, but then it seems like life gets a hold of the situation and the old ways start back up. I want to change and live life, in the light of God and show that love to everyone. I want to react in faith, knowing that no matter what comes my way that Christ is walking with me, knowing that if I start to sink as Peter did, that when I call on Jesus that he will immediately reach out his hand and pull me up, not take me out of the storm, but walk with me through it. I want to rely on God like my children rely on me, and I want to love my children the way that God loves me. I want to treat my children like God treats me. It is a wonderful thought that grace is not fair. I can picture my children jumping up and down and stomping their feet with a disgusted look on their faces when I tell them something they do not want to hear. They say thats not fair. And Grace is not fair. It is freely given to all, and I thank God that grace is not fair. If it was fair I would not get grace. I do not deserve grace, as I do not always treat people graciously. I do not deserve to be in God’s grace.
I sometimes wonder why it was that God called me to be a pastor, and I wonder what he was thinking, but God does not call us to do the things we know we can do. Where is faith in that. God calls us to do the impossible, like Jesus calls Peter out of the boat, to walk on water. God can help us to do the impossible, and through faith I know that God can and will help us all to walk on water, to quite doing the bad things we do, to treat people the way they need to be treated, to help our neighbors, and treat our family like the gifts they are.
I believe God can do the impossible and will help us if we only call on his name.
aSacredRebel 